So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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