I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize