Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
