Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
