I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im holly from the hills drunk
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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