Swine flu. Run for my life!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
