I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
