no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
