My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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