Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize