Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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