I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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