He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize