Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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