Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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