and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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