as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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