I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
