this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
