My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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