Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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