I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
