I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
