u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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