I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
