try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
