I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The adults are the big ones right?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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