well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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