Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
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She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
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We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
the liver wants what the liver wants
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
