I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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