I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
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and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
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Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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