8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
