He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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