how can u be prego again
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
