mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
sex in a hospital.. check
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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