At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
