some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
