Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
