Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have aggressive nipples.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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