why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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