Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
