a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
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I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
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I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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