i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
