I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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