so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Best friends brother. Beat that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
