i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
