How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize