I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
