In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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