Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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