fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
