i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I need moral support for this bender
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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