She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
