i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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