Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
