She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
it's like iHOP with fire
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
