I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
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You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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