Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
