So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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