I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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