I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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