My pussy is not your playground.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
