Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
