I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
