and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
