I seem to have left my pride at pride
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
