After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I've blown a few things in my day
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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