the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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