I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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