Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
