the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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