Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
