I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
