ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
